Horned God –Pan

During the first night of my Ayahuasca Ceremony I was in a bad place, I was in hell; I was experiencing many past lives during which I was raped, and abused. As the night wore on it turned for the worse and I found myself in various temples and dark dungeons having demonic satanic rituals performed on me. I saw myself as one woman after another lying within a pentagram of candles. I will not go into the rituals as they are horrific indeed, let’s just say I was having problems with demons.Half way through the experience I thought to myself surely these cannot all be my past lives, there were too many. Then I realised I was walking my ancestral matriarch line and healing out all the pain of the entire woman I was genetically aligned with.

Then the scenes started to change and I became very afraid, I could see demons everywhere. My stomach was extended and I felt like I had demons in my belly, as if I was giving birth to them. Then I realised who I was, I was Lilith. ( please read my book ” Her Perspective ” to gain further understanding of her and why she is so important to me. ) I then went through a very intense experience of being the Goddess, being enslaved by the pyramids and the energy grid. I felt every masonic pillar, temple, church and stone monument placed upon my body directly over the magnetic pools of my ley lines. And it hurt, it hurt so bad, I experienced how the black magicians who were originally from Atlantis had performed satanic black magic rituals upon me as the Goddess, hexing me, holding me in a controlled imprisoned state. They used my power from my ley lines, my dragon dreaming paths to act as fuel to their demonic ideas of power. I saw how this formed a grid around the planet which locked my chakric system into a distorted fractal matrix. I watched as within this matrix the human race was ensnared. I also saw how it affected the fairy realms (that is another story) it was awful. I then went forward in time and experienced when the electricity came to the planet and they began to build electric pylons across the planet, they stabbed these pylons into my ley lines and it felt like it went inside my meridians in my body, boy did it hurt. But worse than that was how it fired my head and scrambled the communication airways between me and my human family. I could no longer communicate to them directly and after this time needed my animal allies to do the communication for me.

At the height of my terror I was screaming in my head, why does no one come. I meant this on two levels, one level was why do the shamans not realise I am in hell and come to my rescue. On another level I was speaking as Lilith, as I could feel her loss and abandonment and her feelings of complete and absolute loneliness. All the way through this process I had seen what I thought was a devil knocking on my aura. I had noticed that only the beings I had invited in at one point or another could actually come into my plasma field and interact with me. I realised that the reason I was bombarded by demons was because at the beginning of the ceremony I had invited Lilith in as I knew my issues were her issues too. This devil kept knocking on my aura. He looked like the way the devil is portrayed in horror films; he was red and black with one horn red and the other black. He looked just like Satan. I was so confused I thought I was already being plagued by demons I did not know if it was a good idea to let in a being who seemed to be Satan.

I was so confused, on Ayahuasca it is so overwhelmingly real it brought me to fear. In the end I screamed in my head, will someone please tell me if I am to let this being in or not? I was so confused every time I thought about letting him in, I had all these programmes and beliefs come up as to what this Satan energy is, I saw much religious Christian doctrine falling away from me. I went through inquisition memories and burning of the witches. I then went through all the persecution of the women and their connection to this satanic being. As this process continued he began to change his appearance. He went from being a black and red devil to looking more like a stag man , a goat man , the more I processed through all the false programming around this being and my connection to him, the more he transformed until finally he looked like the most beautiful , powerful, strong man. He had a gorgeous body he was muscular and very good looking. He had hairy legs with hooves, a muscly male torso; he had scruffy hair with stag’s horns coming out of this head. He had a bow and arrow. Then I realised this was the Horned God and so I opened my aura and let him in. It was awesome when he came in; he brought me such a feeling of power, lust for life, strength and a feeling of being of the earth. I felt like I had energy of procreation to walk the ancestral line and felt like I was all the animals on the planet. I started moving from one wild woodland animal to another, fox, deer, stag, goat, and boar. I watched a scene of the earth and how humans had become agricultural and had learnt the skills needed from this Horned God. I saw how they worshipped first the Goddess with ram’s horns upon her head and later how this had turned to a male god form as Pan, Herne the Hunter, the Green Man and many more.

Several months previous to my ceremony I had taken a client through a past life process. During this I saw her as a clan’s woman; she was the matriarch of the clan. She was inside a hut sitting upon a chair covered with furs; she was also dressed in furs. Upon her head was a headdress made of flowers with two ram’s horns upon it. Sitting at her feet were the young men of the clan, they were listening attentively to her lessons as she was teaching the men all about sex. I recognised this clan woman and the horns on her head really triggered me. I then spent the next few weeks having dreams about the Goddess with the ram’s horns upon her head. I even bought a pair of ram’s horns to make my own headdress. I knew this was somehow an aspect of the Goddess that I was missing. So when the Horned God turned up in my ceremony I came to realise what it all meant. The horned God brought me such an intense healing in the second chakra. I was truly in love!

One thought on “Horned God –Pan

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