Sometimes the heartache is so intense you feel like you have a hole within your soul, put there by childhood wounds which don’t seem to want to heal. Wounded and battered you drag yourself through your life, wearing a smiling mask to deceive those who look upon you. Your extraordinary life is disrupted and distorted by childhood wounds that create a low-level form of depression, a feeling of perpetual emptiness. This emptiness you try to fill with addictions, and self – judgements, causing the wound to scab over, hardening your soft and gentle heart.
As a child you often found yourself desperately trying to pick up the pieces of your family drama, putting their needs before your own. Playing many projected roles within your family it was rare for you to be yourself. You adapted and adopted a more pleasing persona for their benefit and not your own. Within this you had to adopt a false self, a false master in order to protect your pure and sensitive heart. Many of you were born within families of dysfunction where narcissism roamed.
Through the wounds of your childhood you lost connection to your authentic self, having to live behind the mask. As you developed more and more of this false persona you lost a connection to your authentic self and disconnected from your feelings, needs and desires. And now through the protection of self you remain living in the mask in the falsity, in the prison. You wear a mask to make others feel more comfortable bringing discomfort to yourself. Being detached from your true authentic self creates profound loneliness and isolation as you are move into the mourning phase of your true self , grieving the loss of your divine nature .It is time now to discover your true self through learning about your childhood and healing the abandonment and neglect you felt.
Many times you have been rejected both within your childhood and in your adult life by those that you love dearly. Feeling rejected can disconnect you from your heart and soul and immobilise you in fear to be your true self. Rejection can make you feel suspicious, guarded and protective of your heart. this rejection feels too much for a sensitive soul.
It is time to stop hiding behind his fear of rejection is now time for you to take down the mask. It is time now to open the heart and find trust in your own soul for healing. For it is the turning to angelic forces and your own soul itself which will bring about this healing of the heart and this resolving of the feeling of rejection. Call in those angelic forces to assist you in your healing process. Allow their energy to build in the air around your body, and allow his energy to enter your body through the breath, allow it to support you in your healing. For all of you have many angelic forces around you who have been allocated to you to assist you in your healing. It is time now to open to these beings and allow them to see that wound that is in your heart which you have carried since your childhood and has been the backbone of all your problems.
You speak words that you know they want to hear rather than the words of your truth. You edit yourself, modify yourself and adapt yourself for the needs and wants of others. You often do not say what you truly mean but rather soften your words for fear of being attacked for your way of thinking. It is time now for you to say what you mean; it is time now for you to speak your truth in clear and precise language. Take the time to clarify what you need to communicate and to whom. Take time to connect within and ask yourself what area of your life are you hiding who you really feel?
It is often in your circles of friends that you fall into narcissistic plays. Where other people get the upper hand upon you. When you feel vulnerable you can be easily swayed to say what you feel they want to hear in order to keep the peace for this is your nature, you are kind and delicate soul. However there are those out there who are not of a similar nature, and would use your vulnerability against you, you need to say what you really mean whether someone likes it or not. Of course we all want to be friendly and get on in harmony; however this is not possible in this dualistic world. Just as there are saints and souls of high vibration, there are also souls that will use your delicate heart against you.
Watch those people who bring you very quickly to guilt, for this is a narcissistic trait, which a narcissist will play upon a sensitive and empathic soul such as yourself, to get you to believe that you are the reason for any disharmony between them. If you have been under the influence of a narcissist, and you have come across this dirty play, you hold much guilt which will be an overwhelming feeling which will arise in you when you try to stand in the power of your true authentic self. That guilt is not truly yours and has been simply placed there by a shrewd and devious player.
It is time now for you to release the feelings of guilt the guilt that you carry about being yourself. It is time now for you to heal the guilt which lies heavily upon your heart that stops you living your true sovereignty and divinity. For now is the time to let love grow, the love for the self. For it is only this healing balm that can possibly heal that hole in the soul.