The Awakening and leaving the Spiritual Group.

The Awakening process is not something that happens over one instance and then it’s over, rather it is a gradual peeling away layer upon layer, searching for the core, the nugget of truth that we all carry as divine beings. The Awakening process usually starts with a surprising, or even shocking, revelation, usually about the self, that will rattle a person, and free them from their limited box of consciousness. For those who comfortably live within their box, this can be an unpleasant experience. For some people the experience is so overwhelming, the waves that were first created in their consciousness by the experience will ripple throughout their consciousness for many lifetimes to come. For others that initial first Awakening experience, is only the very first of many seismic waves that are yet to crash into their everyday conscious awareness. Each wave demands a new level of Awakening, a new level of challenges and tests. Awoken people are pushed through many layers of Awakening, they are urged by their Souls, to walk a path, whereby the lies that have encased their consciousness, are shed one by one. There is no denying it that a huge part of the Awakening process, is to expose the lie.

The initial Awakening process is usually a process whereby a person will discover something about themselves, they will have a divine revelation about the self, and thus will begin to see themselves not as limited humans living in a box, but rather a divine co-creative soul. This is the Awakening, in a nutshell, they wake up from themselves and they wake up from the Lie. The lie is always replaced by love, love of the divine. The lie is usually sourced somewhere in their childhood and is always surrounded by issues of not feeling worthy, not feeling loved, not feeling good enough. Part of the Awakening in this first stages will always come with waves of divine love from source, as this is used as a healing balm to open a person up to awaken more and more. It can be a truly blissful experience. Without this flooding of love from the divine, a person would not have the courage to continue along the path, as further along the road there are many pitfalls, obstacles, and challenges to come. It is as if the divine floods into the system to be an encouragement, inspiration, direction, and intent to walk further, along the path, even though it is a path known to be treacherous.

It is often at this time a person will get into angels. Everyone associates love with angels and therefore it is often at this time a person will experience encounters with energies, entities, or beings they call angels. The energy of the angel will always work on a person’s heart chakra first healing issues usually in childhood. All of this is in preparation for the integration of the soul however a lot of people stop in this phase and do not move further along this path of awakening. For the next step is to recognise that the angels are in fact aspects of their own soul identity on higher levels. They remain in a subservient state to the angel and do not continue on in the process and then integrate that energy and recognise themselves as incarnate angelics from a higher dimension.

The Awakening can rattle a person to their very core and set them off balance for many years after, this balance they then try to get back and through this they are taken by their soul through a deep and sometimes painful healing process. You are a multidimensional being that is to say you have a soul self, or aspect, to represent your overall soul identity, on each and every one of the dimensions that make up this universe, in its entirety, it is your multidimensional identity. That Identity, made up of its many different aspects, selves, or frequencies, is moving down through dimensions to integrate within the third-dimensional physical experience. Another way of looking at it is to say that you are integrating your soul. Your soul is obviously of a higher vibration so therefore when the high energy of your soul comes down into the physical experience, it will agitate any low frequencies, and bring those frequencies to the surface, to be healed and addressed. This is a natural process, high energies will always bring up low frequencies to be addressed. When your soul first comes and touches you in a way, in your first initial Awakening experience, it will flood your being, with its high frequencies, with its love from the Divine, and this high frequency will agitate and bring to the surface, low frequencies, that both your energetic body and your surrounding environment, contain. It will then take a person through their own unique journey of self-healing.

It is usually during this time, that the soul will pull from the person, all those traumas, issues, and problems, that was sourced in their childhood. It is very common for a person’s initial Awakening experience to trigger a healing process whereby they have to do a lot of inner child work. Once this is complete a person is usually surprised to find that their issues have still not been completely resolved and that the core of these issues is not really sourced in the childhood in this incarnation in the here and now, but rather it is sourced in what we will call a past life. A person’s soul will then continue their healing process, the soul will continue bringing to the surface all those traumas, all those issues, and all those problems, that are sourced in the energy body and have come about through experiences that that person has had in other lives and other existence, both here on the Earth as in past lives, and also in other lives in other places in the universe.

There are many starseeds here upon the planet, a starseed is a soul who has spent time existing in different vehicles or bodies within different dimensions in the universe, and they are relatively new to earth experience. Those starseeds they too will go through much healing experience, but they will find that once they have completed their inner child work, once they have completed the work in this incarnation, when they begin to do their past lives or their other life issues, they will discover that they had other existences in other places in the universe. Those said starseeds, if they are not supported by someone who can give them some understanding, those people can find it mentally challenging, there are many starseeds who are in mental institutions. How do you wrap your limited human mind around the idea that you are a multidimensional being, that you have many different selves, and some of those selves live in different places in the universe, and that’s some of those selves are what we call alien. Imagine the process that you would need to go through to be able to integrate this information coming from your soul, without losing the plot.

As a person continues along the healing path, sometimes they will draw in certain people, or rather souls, that they have past life contracts with, who they are in contact with to work in some way or another, and it is often at this time that a person will attract dramas into their lives. Many starseeds write to me and tell me that after the initial rush of the Awakening is over, they often plummet into a deep depression, and not only have to go on a very deep self-healing process but often their lives will fall apart too. They will lose their jobs, they will lose relationships, they will lose family and friends, as they begin to open up and they have bigger and grander ideas about who they are, they will find that many people will fall away from their lives. Those people who fall away cannot accept you in your new and improved state because they cannot control you or bully you or take from you anymore and therefore they will simply go somewhere else and find someone else they can play in frequency with. You are vibrating too high for them and you will make them super uncomfortable in your presence and they will either attack you or leave you.

It can often be an extremely challenging time, not only are you going through deep emotional states as you go through your healing, but you are also having to deal with the aftermath, or the aftershock, that always rattles and affects those people around you. Those starseeds caught in the matrix and who are comfortable in their box, and have had comfortable third dimensional lives, those people will often find that their company will suddenly go under and that they lose their job, and they discover their core identity, is the job, they don’t even know who they are. And therefore they too will have to go on an even deeper healing process whereby they have to cultivate a sense of their true self because it is so undernourished because they have been living in this false matrix, they have been living in the lie of themselves. Because they have been so busy living in the lie for all those years, and they have been comfortable within that box, when the soul comes along and opens the box and demands that they change, they can even look at soul as being an enemy and their experience as being the worse thing that ever happened to them in their lives. For those people, they do not see it as a spiritual awakening but some sort of psychotic episode which ruined their life.

Obviously everyone is unique, and therefore they will experience this healing process differently, however, there are some very common factors along the way. Like I said the healing process usually starts with work on the inner child, as a person wakes up, they will come to realise that they are deeply wounded, that may have been abused in their childhood, and that abuse has set a foundation of depression, self-loathing, self-hatred, and this foundation needs to be addressed before any other healing can occur. The soul will take a person deeply into this wounded foundation, and over many months or even years, a person will slowly unravel the story of their childhood, addressing each and every issue, or wound as it is surfacing in their consciousness. People use many different methods, healing practices, and meditations to achieve this and usually within this they find one method which they resonate so strongly with, they wish to learn to do it themselves and often have an overwhelming urge to become a healer or practitioner of that said method. It is totally natural that once you have found a method that has been so successful for you, it has brought you much healing and relief, that you would want to share it with others. It is at this time that a person will attend training courses, workshops, or retreats, to learn various different methods because they have an overwhelming urge within themselves, to share this healing love with other people. It is a beautiful thing that they want to share this energy, and it is a beautiful thing that many of them will then go on and learn these methods and move into professions of lightworker.

However the path does not end here, the work does not stop here, though for some they have chosen to pause along their journey, due to them falling into those potholes and traps that are further along the path. A person can get rather caught up in the whole past life drama if they allow it to infect their minds. What do I mean by that? There are both genuine experiences of past lives, and then there are what can only be called Made Up Experiences. There are those people who will have a past life experience, it could come through meditation, past life regression hypnosis, or it could be a spontaneous occurrence triggered and brought on by something from the outside. These are genuine past life experiences that your soul is bringing to you in order for you to not only address the karma, the imbalance, the distortion, that is sourced within that past life but also to address the energetic pattern that you have present in your energy body in this incarnation, which has been caused by the initial pattern held in the past life. Then there are past life experiences which are basically made up by the mind.

We are complex beings, and we are currently under heavy influences of our own human ego and it’s programming, and thus there are a lot of people especially within the new age movement, who would like to tell the world that they have this past life, or that past life, not because it is a genuine experience that they have had, but because it makes grand the ego. They too deep inside of themselves have a wounded child looking for a love, but instead of addressing the real issues and doing their real self-healing, and looking at that wound, instead they would prefer to live in the lie, live in the ego, boost up the ego with even more false lies, and tell you they were one famous person or another from a past life. I have met so many pharaohs from ancient Egypt it must have been an extremely overcrowded place. What is a shame about all of this is when there are genuine experiences and past lives lived in ancient Egypt for example, those people are loathed to speak out for fear of ridicule, because of all those people that went before them who spoke from their egos. Like I said there a lot of people in the new age movement who are playing with these concepts from the ego and they are not having genuine experiences these people are muddying the waters. I am sure you have met that New Ager who thinks they were Cleopatra in a past life.

There are of course out and out liars, people who live from their egos knowing they are lying, people who are so narcissistic that they prefer to play in this outer shell of themselves, rather be in their inner selves, where there are unaddressed wounds. Then there are people who are permanently optimistic and positive, and therefore they will make up past life memories and experiences whereby they existed in a joyful reality, and even though these imaginings are creative and full of vision, they are still lacking truth, because they are coming from a childlike mind who only wishes to see the light in the life and refuses to address the lie. They believe they are superior because they only look at the light but this is not the truth, the reason is they have not addressed those inner wounds in themselves and are ill-equipped to look at the lie because of fear. They fear the lie, yes but more so they fear the lie in themselves. They live in cloudy fairyland but really they have their heads in the sand, due to fear. These people refuse or rather they are not capable of looking at the Lie because they have not addressed the lie within themselves. They are living not in soul but in ego a place which is insecure because of its falsehood. So they sugar coat everything with what they call “ Unconditional Love” – which if you have ever experienced any of this so-called love, you will discover it is far from unconditional.

This point in the journey is where a person will split up into various different groups, a person is in a learning phase, they are not only learning healing methods which they want to use on their own self-healing, and then go on to become a healer of that method themselves, but they are usually reading a lot of books, watching videos, they are hungry for information, and within this hunger and this digestion of information, then of course they will start to split up into various groups. They will follow various teachers, they will use various methods, and if they are too locked in their ego and too locked in their rational mind, they can fall down one of the many pitfalls that are to come further along the path. If you are in any way susceptible to being persuaded by another person, then you have what I call a cult mentality, and this can be seriously dangerous as you move through this particular point of the spiritual journey, because of this natural inclination to want to fall into groups. Obviously, these groups, surround certain healing techniques, certain spiritual teachings, channeled writings, anything of this nature.

As everyone knows to work with groups can they have both a positive and a negative effect, and is often within these groups that you will find other Souls, which you had past lives with, whether they be past lives on the Earth, or lives in other places in the universe, and often these lives that you lived with these particular souls, were the most heaviest. The reason they show up within the workshop space is because that workshop space has the energies and usually the teacher or facilitator present, to support a person as it goes through these more heavier, past life dramas. I have been running workshops for over 30 years, and I have seen the dynamics playing out. Many people who come to my seminars have no connection whatsoever in this current life, but once they get to the seminar they find that they can recognise the other members of the workshop, and a past life trauma memory surfaces and healing comes about.

One of the pitfalls at this time is that a person will give their power away to either the leader, the facilitator or the teacher of one particular method or healing practice or channeled information. What comes about after this, has little or nothing to do with soul journey or progression, and has a lot more to do with the psychology of personalities and ego. The facilitator, leader, teacher, whether they like it or not, are often are put on a pedestal. But as we all know sooner or later people will begin to see weaknesses within the leader, they will pick up on those weaknesses, and thus the drama ensues. Sometimes the leader is a person full of ego and they deserve nothing more, however other times the leader is not full of ego and is in service, however, human nature dictates these group dynamics much more than soul energy. I seen many spiritual groups come and go, I’ve been on the periphery of some, but I recognised this dynamic very early on in my path, I’ve been very fortunate not to have placed myself in this drama.

Of course, on the other hand, there are many leaders and so-called teachers who are only operating solely from their egos and will operate their groups in a cult-like fashion with rules and fear, I am sure you all know a group like that. It is a minefield at the beginning of your path you are distracted, lied to, hypnotised or just plain misled but sooner or later you find your truth. It is as if you have to listen to everyone else first before you honor yourself enough to listen to yourself and your own soul.

It is often at this time that a person will move through these various groups, some people within these groups they will have positive experiences, and thus they will further their soul’s development, and in some groups, they will simply have a battle of egos. Either way, sooner or later they pick their way through the minefield of groups, and within this picking, they begin to find their own path and their own truth. And the more they walk along this path, and the more they honor themselves and their ability to know their own truth, the stronger it gets, the wider the path becomes until they finally make one final step and the leave the group. A person stops going to a certain meditation group, it may be a person stops having a particular kind of spiritual friendship, or they may move on and out of a particular method teaching or channeled information, it is usually big gesture and it is a way of sort of clearing the decks. Of course, each and every group is perfect for you to have attended and everything that you experienced within that group you were supposed to experience to bring you to this point in the journey. A lot of people will get to this point in their path and they feel like they were they have learned from other people and they really want to find their own path. At this point they may leave the group, this may have bad consequences, we know how humans react when we say we don’t want to play with them anymore, and this you will have to deal with. You will have to deal with being alone for the next part of the journey is one where you are fully on your own.

Like I said many of the souls that are within these groups, you have had past lives with. If you are a soul who has had many past lives there on the Earth, and you have had dramas with those of the souls in other places, then is suffice to say that the group dynamic that you will experience when you go into these various meditation groups, workshops, etc, will be heavy. You would think that the heaviest karmic relationship that you could have would be with somebody who was in your everyday life on a permanent and continual basis. For example, it could be your mother, your father, a sibling, or husband or wife. However, I have noticed in my 30 years of working with people, that this is not exactly true. I have seen extremely karmically heavy and dense past life dramas, within groups where people have never met each other before. If there has ever been a past life that involved some kind of murder, sacrifice, black magic ritual, or anything really dark of this nature, it is often experienced in these workshop situations. Like I said these workshops usually have a leader or a teacher that is holding energy which enables a healing to occur. The soul doesn’t usually bring up stuff if there is no ability for it to be resolved and healed. So therefore when you go on a seminar, be very mindful of who it is that you sit next to, because that person may well be a person who is extremely bound to you, because of an intense past life drama. If you find yourself in those situations where you do not know this person in your everyday life in the here and now in this incarnation, however, your energy body is responding extremely intensely with recognition, please put it away the rational mind that tells you that it is not real, and thoroughly explore the feelings that are going on in your energy body. It is only through feeling, and expressing the energy that is congested in your energy body, can you fully clear this karma.

This brings me onto another topic in the new age field, which is this idea that you can write on a piece of paper that you can resolve and dissolve all of your karmic contracts, and that by reading this out loud a few times, this is enough to undo your karma. I must say this is absolute nonsense and is doing the absolute opposite. By speaking these words out loud, you are actually fixing yourself even more so into a karmic distorted pattern. I use the word karma because everybody seems to use this nowadays, I wish I could find a better would because people have various different ideas of what is meant by the word karma. I do not want to bring about confusion, I would rather you think of past life karma between two souls, as being more so an energy pattern, which they have created between themselves, because of their interaction together, and that that interaction has caused that pattern to be ugly and distorted in some fashion. It is not correct to decide who was to blame in this past life, and who had the bad karma, and who had the good karma, this is just a mind game. In truth, soul does not work like this. The soul is about expressing, learning and experiencing, it does not have this dualistic judgemental mentality that we as Humans have. So, therefore, the soul does not see good, or bad karma, all is simply experience. It is the human heart which decides which is the correct path to take and which is not, left entirely to soul we would have no direction.

So here you are alone, you have managed to stay alive through the minefield of the groups, the mind field of other people’s belief systems, other people’s ideas of the Universe and it’s dimensions, people’s ideas of energies, beings, entities, that exist in other places in the universe, other people spiritual processes of Ascension, and descension. It is as if you are now standing upon a huge pile of books, each book represents a teaching, meditation, a channel piece of information, a practice, anything that you gathered from outside of yourself, anything that you experienced outside of yourself, is contained within one of those books, that is within this big pile that you’re standing upon. At this point in the journey, there’s a huge part of you that would like to literally burn all of those books and start again.

You’re probably holding some confusion, some anger, and some fear because as you walked through that mind field of groups and their teachings, you picked up a lot of lies, falsehood, mistranslations, misunderstandings, and distortions. You feel like you are wearing these distortions like clothes, and you are heavily walking with other people’s clothing upon your back. So as I said there’s a part of you that would like to strip all of that clear and for you to begin naked again. However, that would be very foolish for you to do, because contained within those books there are elements of the truth and useful structures and methods that still benefit your path as an evolving soul. So the logical thing to do next would be to go through each and every one of those books and pull out those pages that contain the important and truthful information, but which part of you is going to decide which of those pages are the truth for you and which are not. Previous to this point in the path you asked someone else, ie the teacher, the author, the healer, now you can only ask yourself. Now, this is where the fun begins.

Do you dare to ask yourself those questions that you asked your spiritual teachers and leaders? Do you have the courage to accept the answer, and do you have the fortitude, to take the necessary steps that your soul calls upon, in order for you to continue your path? It’s very easy for you to ask spiritual questions of spiritual teachers, psychic readers, and people of this nature. People will put a lot of trust in these people, but they will put no trust in themselves. It is often at this point, a person will begin to fall into what is known as the Dark Night of the soul. When they are left in the dark, they no longer have any teachers, leaders, guides, whoever to tell them what is their truth, they have to discover this themselves. For those of you who have got to this point along your spiritual Awakening path, and you have recently left the group, and you are now standing here alone, do not panic. This point in the journey is meant to be, you have meant to have been through all that you have gone through to bring you to this point in the spiritual path. So you stand here alone, and the only person that you can now rely on is yourself. But do not fear, take a deep breath, and feel the space that you now have, now that you are free of those groups, now you are free of all these different belief systems, you have the space now to discover who you are and what you please, and within this you can finally find your own truth. It would have been pretty difficult for you to find your own truth before you had been through this minefield of groups and other people’s belief systems, you first had to know what is NOT your truth before you could know what actually IS your truth. Rejoice in this moment, give yourself a really good pat on the back, do not worry that you’ve lost all your friends, take a deep breath, and feel your power. Feel your Truth.